Another Life Saver

Here is another tip that I always utilized, that has saved me a heap of embarrassment and trouble.  When heading to the rest room ALWAYS check the toilet paper first, before doing anything else.  Just taking an extra 5 seconds to check has saved me from the "what do I do now?!?!" experience.  If I check ahead of time, I can plan ahead, and either restock, or use another.  

Skirts

This is a quick one, but may be a life saver to prevent super embar-ass-ment: if you are wearing a skirt, before you leave the restroom, check either in the mirror, or do a pat test on the back of your legs, to make sure your skirt is where it should be.  I have read so many cases where a femme has returned from her business, only to find people staring and giggling.  Take an extra moment to make sure everything is proper before leaving, and save yourself shame.  It's also a god idea to do this when standing up, or after putting on a jacket, to make sure nothing is swept up!

Just another tip from me to you.

Discount Tent

I love to shop, I really do.  However, I am also very very cheap, which means that I refuse to pay a lot for anything.  So, I shop sales like no one's business, and I encourage all of you to do the same.  Many women and men balk at clearance items, thinking that it is weird or out date merchandise that is found on the discount racks. This is not the case, as one can find quality classic and stylish items that can be kept in a wardrobe for literally years, and not pay much at all.

Case in point: I recently scored at Filene's Basement a Calvin Klein plain black skirt that fits well, and goes with anything.  Retailed originally for over $60, I got it for less than $12.00.

I also love the store DSW for shoes, however I do not ever buy from the regular display, but I head to the back where the acres of clearance racks await my perusal, and the discovery of fantastic finds.  I recently scored 2 lovely pair of black and brown Clarks sandals (leather!) for Spring and Summer time, and paid around $12.00 each.  In addition, I scored an adorable pair of silver flats (leather, What's What? by Aerosoles) for around the same.

This does take patience to achieve.  It requires a lot of digging and sorting, gathering and trying on, but the end result is a fantastic look that costs a fraction of full price.

Where's the Fire?

One thing that has always struck me as odd are women and men who meet someone, 6 months later they are getting engaged, and then 6 months later are getting hitched at the altar. I have to wonder where the fire is, that these folk feel they have to rush right away into the ultimate committed relationship. How well could they even know each other?

So, this topic is for all those newly relationshipped couples, and my advice is: SLOW DOWN! See, the problem with new love is that your body is using chemistry to trick you into those phenomenal (and I do mean phe-nom-e-NAL!) feelings of overwhelming adoration for your new partner. This is easy to understand in evolutionary terms, as nature wants you to feel hot for a new partner, but then those feelings fade after 2-3 years tops, and then you lose interest and want to feel that again with something new. The ideal end result in nature would be child with partner one, have it be old enough to start fending for itself while in protected relationship, then seek another partner (new genes, genetic drift is good!), and repeat!

The only way to defeat the chemical warfare is with TIME. To truly know if you will have long term happiness, you have to wait it out past the 2-3 year mark. This gives an added benefit that you will have longer to really get to know each other, all your foibles and pet peeves, and the real you. Let's face it, everyone puts their best face forward for the first year or so, but then the behind-the-scenes you starts clamoring to be revealed. You might be able to keep it quiet and out of sight for 2 years, but it's gonna get real pushy by that time. So, the year 3 mark will reveal yourself, while the chemistry starts to change. After 3 years, if you can still stand each other, and still want to be with each other, you've got a shot! Enjoy your time together, and learn all about each other, and don't worry too much about the end destination, think about the steps along the way.

(Don't believe me about the chemistry, check out this: http://people.howstuffworks.com/love6.htm (Read pages 6-8 for a good idea of what I am talking about))

One final note: If you haven't talked about your finances with your significant other, and developed strategies with how you will combine, separate, divide the labor for dealing with it, and really talked about both debts and assets, you are definitely not ready to walk down the aisle. I don't care how many times you've hopped into bed together (that's the easy bit!), if you haven't talked about money, you don't really know each other!

And if you are asking about my cred, I am soon to celebrate 18 years together with my one and only man. We dated for 3 years before getting engaged, moved in with each other a year later, and got married 3 years after that, for a total of 7 years building a strong foundation to anchor our commitment when we did finally get married.